American Politics 101

For years I’ve had raging (no exaggeration) arguments with both sides of my family--my own and Donna’s—about politics. Donna and I have long maintained that we disdain political tags and claim to be independent voters who vote for the person, their records, their beliefs, and their promises -- not the party to which they belong. Our families do not believe us. They know we tend to be liberal in our views (well, compared to them we’re flaming) and therefore they’re convinced that we must be “democrats” (say that with a slight sneer to your lip, please, in order to produce the proper impact).

In past elections, I’ve usually ended up on the losing sides…one of those folks who would feel morally superior enough to put a bumper sticker on their car that reads, “Don’t blame me!” I didn’t do that, of course, but I came damned close as the long, sad Bush years have drug on and on an on. I dislike Bush. I so, so very much dislike Bush. I’ve disliked him from the moment I first saw his commercials long ago as he was running for his first term. Bush has our country in more ways than I would have thought possible…he’s the cowboy on a rancid cactus-juice binge who rode into town with six-shooters flaming, robbed the bank and took your life savings, let his gang invade your homes and take your gold and steal your rainy-day money from the cookie jar, and let his horse crap on your doorstep as a parting gift to remember him by. But that’s whining. I don’t like Bush.

Along comes the mid-term elections in 2006. I looked on our county website to see what our ballots were going to look like, what candidates were running for what office, what state-wide constitutional issues were going to be asked, and what county bond issues were going to be asked. I read what the papers said about the candidates, what some neighbors said on our local community forums, what national bloggers said about our Senatorial race, and even read some of their campaign mailings we got everyday. In the end, I found myself voting for two Democrats and one Republican in the races open to me. We had Green candidates on the ballots, but I didn’t bother looking at their credentials…aren’t they all crack-pots?

I got to wondering today about how my extended family members voted, and imagine that most of them voted strictly within party lines. To many, the party defines the candidate. So, I thought, what exactly is an Independent? Can I find a national organization that claims moral authority over Independents?

I didn’t find that organization. But sometimes the journey is hella fun. Take a look at this list of American political parties.

At one time I thought the Reform Party (Perot’s) looked very promising, but then Jesse Ventura split off (I still love Ventura!) and Pat Buchanan and his jack-booted Gestapo took over.

I love the party platform espoused by the Veterans Party of America: "If you want religious issues, go to your congregation and discuss it there ... Morals and morality come from your family not the govt. so if you want to tell other people how to live their lives, how to think, how to dress or what they can and cannot do to their bodies, then become a prison warden, or a political party in some middle eastern country and rule there".

How can you not grin at the Pansexual Peace Party? Founded on Wiccan roots, their platform is: "Sex is Good! Sex is Great! Yea, Sex!"

I don’t fit anywhere. Maybe I’d be disappointed if I did.